Berrynose's Pain
by Capricorn the Sea-Goat
Summary: Honeyfern gave her life to save Briarkit from a snake. But when Briarpaw is injured by a falling tree, how does Berrynose feel? One-shot.


My paws had been frozen in place since we came back to camp, and the wreckage was obvious. The warrior's den was destroyed. I let out a hiss of frustration. I'd be picking splinters out of my nest and pelt for moons. I did the best tail lash I could with my stump of a tail. Those ShadowClan warriors didn't even have the decency- or loyalty to the Code- to actually help me. "A warrior must always help a kit and need, no matter what clan the kit comes from." Brambleclaw always used to say when I was his apprentice, and he told me the Warrior Code.

Lionblaze was hauling a cat out from where the elder's den used to be. I recognized gray fur, and bones were twisted at an awkward angle. His pelt was almost covered in splinters, and I watched for an unsteady rise and fall of the chest. There was nothing. Longtail, the blind elder, was dead. Mousefur looked shocked, but I just stood, not really caring. As an apprentice, I suppose I may have actually been happy that I had one less elder to take care of, but a clanmate dying was never good. Hazetail and Cinderheart began to drag the body into a corner, while Mousefur followed, her eyes wide. Firestar flashed a glance full of longing at the body- he wanted to say goodbye to his old friend, most likely.

The next cat pulled out the the wreckage nearly made my heart stop. I felt a growl waiting to be released, but stopped it right before it escaped. I felt a sigh leave my body as the cat's chest unsteadily rose and fell. It was Briarpaw- the cat who Honeyfern had risked her life for. Even my former mate's name sent sorrow and anger through my pelt, and made my fur stand on end. I raced over to the apprentice, nuzzling her fur. Jayfeather shot me a look, clearly annoyed, but I ignored it and ran my paw along her. The she-cat was unconscious, and I felt the same feeling I had felt around Honeyfern. I loved Briarpaw- not in the same way I loved Honeyfern or her sister, but pretty close.

Millie, who had just arrived beside me, stared at her kit in horror and shock. I felt something odd beneath my paw, which I pointed out to Jayfeather with my tail. Still irritated, the medicine cat shot me a look and then felt it himself. The cat motioned for both Millie and I to step back, just barely restraining himself from snapping at us. I let out a frustrated sigh and rested my tail against Millie as the clan looked on. Firestar walked over to Longtail's limp body just as Jayfeather listed his head and announced that Briarpaw had broken her back.

"But that means she can never be a warrior!" Millie wailed as I slipped in between my littermates, Mousewhisker and Hazeltail. I felt furious, and my claws dug into the into the soft earth. Why StarClan, why? My head spun with thoughts and rage. Briarpaw could never become a warrior. She'd die soon. Honeyfern died in vain. She should have let Briarkit be bitten. That way, I'd have her at my side, this wouldn't have happened, and I'd have beautiful kits by now. Her kits. I felt pain like thorn-sharp claws straight through my heart, and I felt like yowling angrily at Briarpaw. I could just picture it, my claws piercing her soft, exposed throat, the blood pouring out as she bled to death... It would have been the ultimate revenge. StarClan wouldn't have expected that move, would those mangy-pelted fools? My eyes glittered with malice, and Mousewhisker gave me an odd look. I shook my head to clear them of the thoughts.

"Mousewhisker, I'm going hunting. We need fresh-kill after this." I said as my brother opened his mouth to protest. I had already gotten to the camp's exit, and padded out of camp onto the soft grass. Once the camp was out of sight, I raced towards the lake and stopped near its waters. As I looked up, I saw a plant, it's leaves decorated with deathberries. Instantly, an idea popped into my head, and I reached towards the berries. I would eat them, and then I'd join StarClan. I'd be with Honeyfern again, the cat I longed for. I'd know why this happened to Briarpaw, and I'd be able to punish the clan. Yes... I'd slowly let them die, sending disaster after disaster. I'd start with the cat that shouldn't even be alive- Briarpaw. But more importantly, I'd be with Honeyfern again...

"You stupid furball! You're not supposed to die yet!" A sweet, familiar voice said, just as I was about to reach one of the deadly berries. I whipped around, to be met with a beautiful she-cat, stars dappling her fur.

"Honeyfern..." I whispered, my eyes wide with surprise. I brushed my fur against hers, drinking in her sweet scent. A purr rose in my throat.

"StarClan didn't make that happen to Briarpaw... Or me." Honeyfern said, twining her tail with mine. "You're supposed to be hunting?" The she-cat added in a purr, dropping into a hunter's crouch. I watched as the she-cat raced after prey, and came back with a plump rabbit.

"Share?" She asked, pushing the prey towards me. I simply nodded, and we both took a bite at the same time. I briefly wondered about how she learned to hunt rabbits like a WindClan cat, but remembered that WindClan went to StarClan as well. She probably picked it up from some dead WindClan cats.

"Let's bring some back to the clan." The she-cat said, lashing her tail. I briefly wondered why a StarClan cat would- or if they could- hunt with a living cat, but this was Honeyfern. Strong, determined, defiant, and sometimes stubborn Honeyfern.

As soon as the rabbit was finished, I dropped into a hunter's crouch as soon as I scented squirrel. Just as I spotted its soft brown fur, however, I stepped on a twig and the prey darted towards a tree. It scampered up the branches, and I hissed before I noticed Honeyfern in the tree. She killed it with a bite to the neck. Its limp body fell to the ground, and I buried it as my former mate jumped down from the tree. She playfully cuffed my ear and then brushed her fur against mine before stalking towards a tree and catching a mouse nibbling on a seed. We laughed and purred before running through the forest and hunting together.

"Thanks for a wonderful day." Honeyfern said. The sky was streaked with orange, and early stars dappled the sky. One glowed very brightly- I assumed it was Honeyfern's star. Our prey, several mice and a few squirrels, was at our paws.

"Thank you for coming to see me." I replied, running my head against my former mate's fur for the last time tonight. She purred in delight, and we twined our tails together again.

"I have to go take Longtail to StarClan with Swiftpaw- would you like to join us?" Honeyfern asked. "He wanted to stay behind to listen to his goodbyes- a normal reaction." I couldn't believe my ears- hunting with a StarClan cat was one thing, but taking a cat to StarClan while you were alive was another thing.

"Of course." I replied, my eyes wide with surprise but my voice steady. Smiling, Honeyfern put her tail to my eyes, and everything when black for a second. The next thing I knew, my sleeping, breathing body was below me, and I had a slightly transparent coat, like Honeyfern. We padded inside camp, and a black and white tom as well as Longtail were standing in a corner.

"Berrynose?" Longtail asked, puzzled. I nodded, and we all walked into the sky as if there was invisible ground below us. It was completely dark out- all warriors of StarClan were visible. Before I knew it, we were in the starry hunting grounds of StarClan.

"Goodbye, Berrynose." Honeyfern murmured as the three cats walked deeper into the forests. I nodded sadly, and the next thing I felt was a paw prodding my side. Lionblaze was nudging me awake, and a hunting patrol lead by Lionblaze was picking up my prey.

The invisible ceiling effect again. I nervously shuffled my paws, looking down at the battle below. My bloody and battered body was in the middle of cats from all four clans. Cherryheart, my daughter and the clan deputy, was nuzzling my fur in grief. Next to me, Rosestar, my half sister, looked at the horrible battle below. She must have just lost her ninth life. Cherryheart would be leader now. Surprisingly, I didn't feel upset over my leader's death- perhaps it was because I was now dead, too.

"You died?" My half-sibling asked. I nodded, even though the answer was clear. I wouldn't be here right now if I was alive. But I was getting old, anyways, about the age that some early retiring cats join the elders. I was happy to die, and finally be with my old family and friends again.

Honeyfern stepped down to meet us, and rubbed her fur against mine for the first time since the hunting trip together. I purred in response. "I have waited so long, my love." Honeyfern murmured. Even after I took Poppyfrost as my mate, Honeyfern and I had never stopped loving each other.

As we all walked into the sky, I felt a sense of relief after the starry forests of StarClan came into sight. The journey must take longer if you didn't listen to your final goodbyes, or perhaps Honeyfern just took an alternate route, since Rosestar and I died at about Sunhigh. It was almost Moonhigh- much longer then the other journey had taken so many moons before. We were lead deeper into StarClan's hunting grounds, and a felt happiness flood into myself.

"Where to next?" I asked curiously. What do you do in StarClan all the time, anyways? It couldn't all sending omens or watching over the living. Not that I want to offend StarClan or anything, but that would be pretty boring.

"We have a leader's ceremony to attend." Honeyfern replied, bounding away. Rosestar and I looked at each other before following.


End file.
